Comments for Mothering By Grace

Comment on The Dress Project by skatey katie

skatey katie — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 05:30:48 +0000

oh wow i used to chat on this forum eons ago.
popped in from tulipgirl’s facebook link on the october dress project group.
lovin’ the greenness. my dress is sage green… and starting to look a tad shabby…
love and sunshine
katie in new zealand X

Comment on The Dress Project by TulipGirl

TulipGirl — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 23:31:33 +0000

Reorientation. . . I like that. That’s a good way to summarize why I’m involved in the October Dress Project, too.

Comment on A Quiet House, a Laptop, and a Glass of Wine by Jamie

Jamie — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 13:31:04 +0000

That was beautiful and I am cyber-jealous of your writing skills!

Comment on A Quiet House, a Laptop, and a Glass of Wine by Lois

Lois — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 05:55:01 +0000

I love this post too. Love your pondering.

You know what I am going to suggest to you two about seeing each other again…

Comment on A Quiet House, a Laptop, and a Glass of Wine by rylee95

rylee95 — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 11:05:17 +0000

That would be nice. I’ve been doing a little brain wracking my own self.

Comment on A Quiet House, a Laptop, and a Glass of Wine by Jeannette

Jeannette — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 00:04:24 +0000

I just love this post.

And I just love that I got to be your friend to visit you in real life. Trying desperately to think of how (when!) I can see you again….

Comment on We Moms Wobble by Joanna

Joanna — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 16:26:04 +0000

I really liked what Rylee said here, “Where I’ve settled down is in accepting my wobbling. In recognizing that my child’s entire future is not dependent upon every choice of every moment of every day. In doing so I extend myself some grace.”

I feel wobbly on many days–sometimes even moment-by-moment. I’m still in my “early parenting years,” and I tend to overthink things anyways, so maybe this is just part of the package.

Having two toddlers the same age has helped me so much in realizing that there isn’t a single formula for parenting. Already–even though they’re at the same developmental age and have many similar needs–they are such different people. In some ways, parenting feels like a process of negotiation, and that process feels wobbly sometimes.

Also, even though we both wobble at points, having a concerned and thoughtful father/husband in the mix helps to keep us balanced. We might each individually lean towards one side or the other, but as we swap notes and encourage each other, we both grow into more steady parenting.

Comment on We Moms Wobble by rylee95

rylee95 — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 18:45:48 +0000

I know I wobbled in the early days, but I can’t really describe how. But I think I still wobble as I try to strike the balance inherent in respectful authority and healthy attachment. Sometimes I’m too permissive and let my kids get away with more than they should, sometimes I’m too harsh in my demands for compliance. Sometimes I work so hard at meeting my children’s need for me and to be in my space, I neglect my own needs to the point of utter depletion and I worry about my children’s insatiable sense of entitlement. Sometimes I spend so much time on self-preservation, I worry that my children feel like they are little annoyances in my way.

Where I’ve settled down is in accepting my wobbling. In recognizing that my child’s entire future is not dependent upon every choice of every moment of every day. In doing so I extend myself some grace. When I’m overwhelmed by the imbalance, when I’m overwhelmed by having gone too far in one direction or the other, I remember that the end product of my children’s childhood is an amalgamation of a myriad of experiences and encounters with me and with every other person in their lives, a product that is more than the sum of its component parts. And that I am not the only influence in their lives. I am not fully responsible for how they turn out. It helps me to take a step back and take the longer view. So I might screw up a dozen times a day, but it’s a dozen screw-ups in the context of a larger schema where love in the form of grace comes first.

And then I pray. Really hard. That these kids will turn out to be exactly who God has called them to be. In spite of me. And that’s probably the part that encourages me most. That these people are God’s first, and he’s at work here too. And it releases me from the pressures of perfection.

I don’t know. Is that encouraging?

Comment on Eating like an Immigrant, Part IV: Staples by Joanna

Joanna — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 19:40:16 +0000

Oh, that site looks like so much fun!! Thanks for sharing, MG!

Comment on Christ+Plus Parenting by Joanna

Joanna — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 23:10:14 +0000

Oh, this is so good. And convicting. Thank you for sharing, MommyGirl.